I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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