***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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