Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
