: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
