We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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