I forgot how hot balto sounded
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
