I feel great
I just peed on a car
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
