forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
