My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Holy sore nipples Batman
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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