we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
