I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
