Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
