Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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