He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
