you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
