he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
