You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
