it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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