what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
