I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
