it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
