I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
