Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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