I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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