you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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