this boner is exhausting
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
