she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
