hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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