Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
