Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
