Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
