talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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