I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
