also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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