Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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