she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Can I color on your dick again?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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