Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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