Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
