I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
