i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
