Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I touched a dick in church today
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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