he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
