She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
