I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
