my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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