Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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