if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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