How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
