Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
