Quick, to the slutcave!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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