It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
